Where Do Some Da Members Have Donations When They Dont Even Have Art?

If you know a Mormon, you probably take had 1 of 3 thoughts: " Their family unit is so big and they all look the same," "Why are they so judgmental?", or "Wow, they certain invite me to a lot of church events." Yous might know about the Book of Mormon (the racist Mormon bible of the Americas that essentially erases the existent history of Indigenous people, written by a white man in the 1800s). Y'all might know what a Mormon temple looks like. You might even know that they don't drink , just no ane exterior of it really comprehends most of what they teach, or why at that place seems to be a lot of problematic themes .

At that place'south a reason for the lack of information. The church doesn't want people to know that it's really a cult , and so it takes years for even members to slowly detect out information about it. In one case you're 12, you lot start learning a little about church history and what's expected of adults. You're taught to strictly adhere to modesty rules , to non drinkable coffee or booze, fast for 24 hours once a month, pay 10% of your income (or allowance in this case) every month to the church, get baptized in place of the dead (yeah), and devote your life to the Gospel. In the summertime, you lot go to week-long camps for your gender and age. Every few years you lot continue "trek," which is where yous dress up, starve, and recreate the Mormon trek to Utah. It's a forced thing, and information technology'south shocking there hasn't been a lawsuit nonetheless.

You're too forbidden from making out "passionately" or having sexual activity until marriage. When boys turn 18, they go through the temple for the first fourth dimension so that they can serve a ii-yr mission. This is when they observe out about temple ceremonies (plagiarized from masonic rituals and complete with bizarre, cult outfits), the teachings near them being the main over their future wives , their secret name (they're given a proper noun that is said to be their truthful name in heaven—women are ordered to tell their husbands their names, simply husbands can go on theirs a secret), and many more bizarre things.

Women don't learn nigh the temple ceremonies or go through it until they are about to get married. They continue to serve a mission only afterwards the historic period of 19 (it's non compulsory for girls, and so most don't discover out until they're married). Adults are to nourish the temple equally much as possible to perform "endowments" for the dead , or rather, marry the dead and make promises on their behalf. To attend temple (which is vital to make information technology to the Celestial Kingdom—the highest of the three in Mormon sky), members must obey all the rules, pay their tithing, and sustain their prophets without question. After y'all nourish the temple, you must habiliment garments at all times (y'all know, "magic underwear"), and you lot're to swear an adjuration to never talk about what happens in the temple to anyone (not too long ago it was a blood oath). Later on in your life, you find out that men are to exist the gods of their own planet once they die, and their wife will be merely one of many spirit wives to them in heaven, and they will bear them children and pleasance them for all of eternity. You find out subsequently that having sex activity is renewing your temple covenants, and and then sex is considered a duty on the part of the wife. All that beingness said, many members never discover out that all of this is for null, or detect out the lies, coverups, and scams of their cult. In fact, nearly will never know that their church building is in fact a cult, which is why information technology's then rare to get out it.

SLC Mormon temple

As a child, I was a "not-member." My dad's side was firmly Mormon, and they all lived in Utah. My fourth great-grandfather was Wilford Woodruff, an early on "prophet" of the church building and founding member. My mother was a convert, and had gotten baptized in order to marry my dad. When I was little, nosotros left the church building because my mom read up nigh the history of polygamy, and so I have very little memories that are specific to the church from that time period. I spent nigh of my life outside of the church building, and grateful to not be in information technology. I didn't know a lot about the teachings, but it bothered me that the women in the church building only ever seemed to do one thing with their lives—go married ultra immature, accept as many babies as possible, and serve their husbands. I hoped it was a coincidence but I figured the church was former-fashioned in that way. My dad's side handled our "betrayment" as information technology's called (a.k.a. revolt) in varying ways, merely many didn't speak to us. They taught their children to not exist similar us, and later admitted to crying nearly our "darkness" and "sad lives" when we'd leave their houses (or gas station where nosotros were allowed to meet them), then my siblings and I were not close to our cousins on that side for years. Meanwhile, nosotros were happily living in the San Juan Islands, drinking coffee (something that'due south not allowed in Mormonism) and playing outside in our tank tops (as well not allowed—women in the church must be covered at all times).

Fast forwards to November of my 16th twelvemonth. My parents decided that we'd join the church again. It's hard to pivot downwardly a specific reason for this, merely keep in heed that my dad'southward roots were all in Utah and all in the church. Joining again would hateful reconnecting with our family unit and restoring broken bonds with them. My mom also had a special place in her heart for the church. She was a member for years back when she get-go joined in her twenties, and she loved the focus on families that was such a large a function of the culture. I was terrified when they told me. I idea of the women who all seemed to desire the same things and do the aforementioned things and remember the same things. I was so worried that I wouldn't be able to follow my dreams. I was an aggressive kid, and I wanted to chase that. Long story brusque though, after the missionaries came to our house, information technology was all over for me. They seemed so normal and kind, and information technology reminded me of what it was similar to believe in a god. I was agnostic growing up, then it was suddenly kind of comforting to meet people who were and so convinced, but also seemingly normal. So I agreed to get baptized too, and in January, we all did.

My family gets baptized on this day

My sisters, Mom, and I get baptized after my brothers.

There were a lot of challenges that came with being in the church. I had to swallow beliefs that were really out there, but when we moved to Utah, information technology was a lot easier. I was surrounded by pretty much only Mormons. If y'all've ever been to northern Utah (Enshroud Valley), you understand. It'southward rare to meet a "non-member." The land is run past them, because that'south where they went in the early on days when they were run out of towns in Missouri because they were practicing polygamy, stealing other people's wives, kidnapping daughters, burning printing presses, and raising a militia (something you don't larn about as a member). Then my teachers were all Mormons. My new friends and classmates were all Mormons. Now we lived close to our family on that side (who were at present very welcoming), and so at present every person that we knew, hung out with, or spoke to was a Mormon. Mormon theology was spun into our classwork, and we attended seminary every school day at 6 a.thou. I was known as "the catechumen" at school, and lots of boys wouldn't go on dates with me because of it. I'd hear rumors that they thought I "wasn't pure plenty" or that they were worried I'd "corrupt the other young women." I made actually practiced friends in my senior year, but before that it was a lot of having to prove that I was righteous enough to spend time with, despite my heathen roots. All in all though, our individual ward (or congregation at our specific church building) completely embraced united states. The Mormon church is a missionary church, so that was not surprising.

I learned apace that my body was a shameful thing, and that I needed to hide information technology. Nosotros had to buy all new clothes, because Mormonism teaches that women must encompass everything, including their shoulders, knees, and chests, and nothing could exist too tight. On the flip side, women and girls are encouraged to "embrace their femininity" then the dress should reverberate that as well. So we bought loose-plumbing fixtures jeans, only they were light green. We bought high-necked shirts and long dresses for Sunday, but they were floral or otherwise feminine. Women are non immune to wearable pants to church, so nosotros had to get a lot of clothes and adapt to dressing that way. No one is allowed to go more than than ane piercing (unless you're a human—then you can't get whatsoever), get any tattoos, dye your hair unnatural colors, or expect like anything too clean cutting. I worked on cultivating a more than feminine version of myself, and worked to become less passionate and loud, and more gentle and meek. Looking back, I remember feeling very guilty for wanting a big life and having goals. That all said though, we weren't miserable or anything. We had community, our family loved us, and it was then fun to go hiking in the mountainous area.

My sisters and me with our Personal Progress medallions a few weeks afterwards baptism.

On top of that, past at present we were thoroughly brainwashed . We lived and breathed the church building, and that had a lot to practise with a quick conversion. We attended our 3-hour church meeting and hours of meetings for your "callings" (work you are called to do for free for the church building) and firesides on Sundays (non to mention if you were a visiting instructor, in which case you lot also had hours of visiting the houses of other members—particularly the "weaker" ones who needed to be indoctrinated). Mon nights were for Family Abode Evening, which is an evening devoted to church study with your family unit. On Wednesdays we went to "mutual" all night, which was where teens ages 12-17 went to church and learned more church lessons and participated in activities. Throughout the week we had to prepare for our callings, we went to seminary every day, read our scriptures daily, and nosotros worked on our piece of work books for Immature Women (a lengthy process that girls must consummate that involves studying and activities that involve preparing to be a good wife and mother anytime). If you were assigned a talk for Sun or in that location was a ward activity happening (both very frequent occurrences), then that was some other chunk of weekly time spent in/for church. The fourth dimension spent on all of this alone was enough to indoctrinate, merely combined with the strict rules, nosotros all swallowed that the church was truthful and that if we had doubts, that was pride talking. You have songs, scriptures, doctrine, talks, and people hammering into y'all that "the church is truthful" (the most usually used phrase in Mormon culture), and on peak of that, we lived in Utah, where if yous doubted anything, you thought you were the delusional i since everyone around yous is acting like information technology'due south normal. If everyone around you tells you that you're crazy for long enough, you'll believe them. You hear songs in church proverb "Follow the prophet / Follow the prophet / Follow the prophet / Don't go astray" and everyone around you cries when they bear their testimony and talk most how true the Gospel is. You don't have a chance to question it, and you don't really think to. How could so many people believe in something that isn't truthful?

Later I graduated, I got a scholarship to BYU (a church university) and my program was to nourish after my mission.

This all may seem very strange to someone who'southward never been in the cult, but remember, data is slowly given to y'all. I didn't know about the mandatory interviews with male bishops until I joined (yous're asked sexual questions behind airtight doors—which is the main reason child abuse is and then high in the church building). I didn't know I was to be a spirit concubine to a husband in heaven someday until I went through the temple. What you are taught is taught to you lot slowly, "axiom by precept." And so when I was 19, I decided to serve a mission. I wanted to benefit, and I wanted to become out in the world. I was thrilled when I was called to Brazil, because my grandparents and family had lived at that place on missions and otherwise. The land was a big part of my identity, and so I was so overjoyed when I read the letter that told me I'd get there. My family unit and friends all came to see me open my letter. Anybody was proud of me and I was proud of myself. I felt like I was doing the right thing, and I was beyond thrilled that I'd as well become to see the land that shaped my family.

Afterward I opened my mission call to Brazil. A few months afterward, I attended the temple for the commencement time.

Here's me before I went inside the temple for the kickoff fourth dimension to accept out my endowments (what the ceremonies are called). You're not allowed to look in the bag yous're given ahead of time, which is filled with the strange cult clothing and garments. I left for Brazil a few weeks later.

Mormon missions are not normal missions (sensing a theme hither?). Boys go for two years, and girls get for a twelvemonth and a half. There was to exist no contact with the outside world, except yous tin e-mail your family unit and loved ones once a week on "P Day." Y'all tin phone call dwelling on Mother'southward Mean solar day and Christmas, and that's information technology. You cannot use the net, a phone (except the mission flip phone which is only to be used to contact local members and your leaders), or read or await at or watch anything that isn't made by the church.

The first fourth dimension I was allowed to speak to my family in months (Female parent's Day)

You are assigned mission companions who are to remain with you at all times, except when you're using the shower or toilet. Yous switch companions every so often, merely they're in that location to spy on yous and y'all on them. You work together, but we're taught to continue them in line. Keep in mind, every male serves a mission. It'due south forced. So every male is thoroughly and completely indoctrinated past the time the two years are up. The females who do choose to serve get just as indoctrinated. And then I went to the CTM (training eye) for a little over a month and learned the lessons I was supposed to teach to "investigators." Nosotros had to article of clothing Dominicus clothes at all times along with our name tags, and we were not to be called by our first names again for the residue of the mission. I was Sister Degn, which wasn't besides different, because members in church phone call each other Sis or Brother (insert last proper noun here). The male person missionaries, notwithstanding, are called Elders. So I learned the language and became fluent during my mission.

I t was really hard to exist and then isolated, and I missed my family so much, only I loved my mission. A lot of missionaries have terrible times on their missions because it'southward so difficult. You take to be up at dawn and working until tardily. You lot're on your feet, knocking on doors and proselytizing the entire time. That'south your life for those two or 1.5 years. On P Days (Mondays) y'all get to email home for 30 minutes, just yous're not supposed to become dorsum and forth (or respond if they email you back during those 30 minutes). That's the twenty-four hour period to do laundry, do, grocery shop, and relax or go exploring if you lot desire until 3 or iv p.m. Then it'south dorsum to work. Information technology'southward exhausting, specially if you're learning a new language on pinnacle of that. I had a migraine every minute of every day because no i around me knew English and I was spending every ounce of energy to volition myself to communicate. Eventually I became fluent, but information technology was the hardest thing I had ever had to do up until that indicate. I loved every infinitesimal of it. I was getting to understand a new culture, exploring the Brazilian coasts (no pond immune, but hiking was approved for us), trying new foods, and being exposed to a beautiful culture. It fabricated the difficulties feel more than manageable. I fabricated sure we also fit in volunteer work every bit well, which we were reprimanded for considering it distracted from our duties.

A few weeks in the mission field in Brazil.

I didn't struggle on my Mormon mission. I was a happy missionary.

One day, I got a call from my mission president (which doesn't happen—he'south as well loftier up to be randomly calling missionaries working for him). He said my mother was "very insistent" on talking to me. I was really concerned, because again, no advice with the exterior world allowed. He said he'd pick me and my companion up in the morning to drive to the city and talk to her. He told me to calm her down and get back to work, and then I was really nervous about what would happen. In the morn, when we got picked upwards and started driving to Santos, the entire drive was a giant lecture. They wanted to make sure I'd make my mom feel better and I could go dorsum to normal. I had no doubtfulness that I'd become back to normal, and I was expecting her to simply exist missing me or something. I loved being on my mission, and despite it being difficult, I felt a huge sense of achievement. Too, past then, this was my dwelling house. Brazil was home, and I was dreading the thought of always leaving. I had no idea I'd be leaving that nighttime.

When I got on the phone with my mom, I knew the president and other leaders would be listening nearby, so I answered calmly. My mom and dad were on the other line. It felt so proficient to hear their voices, just I was adamant to stay. That was when my world broke open up. My mother told me that she had found out that Joseph Smith, the founder of the religion, had married xiv-year-old girls. She said that she constitute out that the polygamy that nosotros were taught was necessary and non-sexual and only involving widows, was really happening with him and teenagers. She told me of the records of him forcing young girls into marrying and having sex with him, and how he also married already married women by threatening them or sending their husbands off on missions. She also told me that she constitute out that "the offset vision," the one I was pedagogy to members, the story of how Joseph Smith was spoken to past God and angels and told to restore the "true church building" was actually a afterward edit of the true story, which was a story that he wrote every bit an developed about how when he was 14 years old he prayed to be forgiven of his sins and he had a skilful feeling come over him. I felt sick. I had just been education a false story to hundreds of families and vulnerable people, and non only that, but I realized that everything I based my beliefs, values, personality, desires, and thoughts on was all a lie, and congenital by a pedophile rapist. I was so scared, but I knew I needed to leave. It broke my heart to leave the country, simply I couldn't stay and pretend I didn't learn what was really going on. I told my parents I'd find my style back to the States, and that I'd phone call them from a stranger's phone when I landed stateside. They had already packed upwardly the house and were staying in a hotel past the airport back in Salt Lake City in the hopes that I'd come home and nosotros could all start over. They wished me luck and told me they loved me.

The post-obit hours were the hardest of my entire existence. To make a very long story short, I spent hours pleading with the president and leaders to give me my papers and fly me home, all to exist met with spiritual blackmail, shaming, proper noun calling, and refusal. When it was articulate that I wouldn't go out without my paperwork and ticket home, they agreed. I was traumatized but I wouldn't let them see that. They begrudgingly got me a ticket for flight that they were certain I'd miss. I had to exit nigh all of my things behind because I didn't have time to pack, and they dropped me off at a random bus station. I had to notice my own way to the Sao Paulo airport, and effigy out how to get to my gate. I did find it thanks to a kind French homo (thankfully I spoke a little French and he spoke a lot of English) and me tossing a lot of the weight I was carrying in the trash—including my temple garments and church manuals. I put on regular dress for the outset time in a long time, and pulled up my hair. I felt actually adept. Scared, but stiff. I remember looking at myself in the airport bathroom mirror and breathing deeply for the beginning time that life-changing day. I knew I had to leave. So I picked up my bag, and a few minutes afterwards I was on a plane over Sao Paulo, ordering my first wine.

I will never be able to put into words the emotions I felt right before I reunited with my family.  It was a lot to procedure, and the trauma and injure of leaving Brazil was a lot to bear. That all said, I felt relief for knowing the truth, no matter how hard it was to learn about, and I was so happy to hug my family again. I cried as I saw that my little brothers had sprouted up when I was abroad, and my domestic dog had gotten petty white hairs around her eyes. My sisters beamed and tackled me in the biggest group hug, and my parents held my face and told me they were proud of me.

Reuniting with my family as nonmembers.

Since leaving four years ago, I have since learned of many other Mormon lies . I learned most the violence, rape, and coercion of the early history. I learned about the church'southward stiff stance against desegregation and ties to the KKK. I learned near how the church teaches that Black people would be servants in heaven, and that early Mormons were sealed to their slaves and servants "for fourth dimension and all eternity" through the temple rituals. I learned nearly the handshakes and rituals in the temple being stolen from Masonry. My eyes were open up to the homophobia and blatant sexism that I had not fully understood while inside it, and the frauds committed by Joseph Smith before he even started the mormon cult. It was a lot to take in, and it was horrifying to feel so duped. In one case again, many in our family stopped talking to us, and this time I lost 99% of my friends. I was bullied, harassed, threatened, and preached to by members in their efforts to salvage me or at least teach me a lesson. I learned to get very good at advocating for myself and standing up for myself. I learned to drop people from my life who were hurting me or supporting oppression, and I learned to open up my mind once again. In the church building, you're taught that people who leave it are dark, crazy, ill-behaved, lost, or bad people. I've never been happier or more than whole. I don't need a manual for life, and I don't need men to be in accuse of me. I'1000 in charge of myself, and I don't have to limit myself to marrying as immature as possible and forcing out equally many children from my trunk as I perchance tin can. I don't take to have solely male person leaders, pay them , let them inquire me near my sexual habits, or obey them.

My beginning fourth dimension in years showing my shoulders and thighs- a week after I left my mission.

The Mormon church is a cult. It checks off every box on whatever cult requirement listing . People oftentimes don't understand that because they are not allowed in these temples, members don't tell you the weird and harmful teachings, and who'due south going to sit downward and figure out how much fourth dimension is spent by leaders indoctrinating members and themselves? Members don't sympathize that information technology's a cult, because that's the beauty of a cult. You're brainwashed, and you're told that everyone else is crazy or lying. It doesn't matter what bear witness you show them, even if information technology'south proof from their own organization or words from their own prophets. They won't believe y'all – believe me, I've tried. It's rare to wake up from this, and I don't know if I ever would have had my mom not called me and been so blunt with me with proof and testify. It helps that I was a convert, but I was just as brainwashed as everyone else. I've had shut friends go out the church as well when they saw evidence or woke up about the injustice ( the church is unsurprisingly as well very against homosexuality and it'southward causing a lot of suicides in the state of Utah). It'south not incommunicable to leave or to get out of it. It'south just traumatizing.

If you know someone who's mormon, don't let them take you lot to church events. Don't assert their faith. It'south oppressive , harmful , sexist , abusive , homophobic , violent , racist , and amongst other things- proven to exist false. Be upfront with them, and share resources with them like the CES Letter. If you know an ex-Mormon (while rare, it does happen ), be kind to them. No matter how they left, it was traumatizing, and probably the hardest matter they've always done. They've most probable lost loved ones and family and even their chore or scholarships considering of it. Ex-Mormons have to adjust and rebuild their entire lives , so be patient with them and let them know that you're a safe space. The mormon church is splendid with marketing, and then many assume it's just a slightly strange but happy family filled religion. It'south not. It's dangerous and it ruins lives, even if the members don't understand that that'south what's happening to them. Exmormons are told to leave quietly with their tails betwixt their legs. If any of the states speak up nearly what we found out, we are farther ostracized and lose the few people who didn't driblet us when we left in the first identify. Exmo'southward bargain with loftier rates of religious based PTSD, chronic shame/guilt, and many other issues that come with leaving a high need cult. Requite them resources , and be a listening ear . It can be embarrassing to talk about, because in one case yous wake upwards, it's actually hard to not see how plain wrong information technology was the entire time. Many don't reveal that they used to be mormon because of this. Be a friend, and let them know you lot have their dorsum. Sometimes having someone to vent makes all the divergence in the earth.

The concluding time I saw my family as I left for my mission. Information technology was the last time nosotros would all be together as mormons. Everything inverse the side by side fourth dimension we saw each other.

It took me years to go public almost all of this, only better belatedly than never. So, if you get ane thing out of my story, I hope it'due south to never finish questioning. Don't always allow someone tell you to be submissive, and never let your curiosity die. Be the black sheep. Be the dissenter. Don't listen to gaslighting . Exist the person who gets others to inquire "Why", and don't ever feel guilty for listening to your gut. That gut feeling is in that location for a reason.

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Photo: Emily Degn

beasleyvoing1999.blogspot.com

Source: https://www.peacefuldumpling.com/i-left-the-mormon-church-cult

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